Wednesday, September 28, 2005
We all know that there are lots of different pills available to the athelete with various "performance enhancers." Some of them work, but are illegal. Others are legal, but don't work very well.
"Product W" a highly effective performance enhancment pill that is completely legal! (At least for the moment...)
The primary active ingredient in Product W is the miracle drug
More popularly known as: Theobromine
Theobromine is an all natural substance obtained at great expense from certain tropical plants.
Here's the dope on theobromine chemistry:
NAME : Theobromine
CHEMICAL NAME : 3,7-Dihydro-3,7-dimethyle-1H-prine-2,6-dione
ALTERNATE CHEMICAL NAMES : 3,7-dimethylxanthine
CHEMICAL FORMULA: C7H8N4O2
MOLECULAR WEIGHT: 180.17
Product W contains a variety of chemicals, with the primary psychoactive components being theobromine (about 1% of total weight) and caffeine (<.1%). Other chemicals include serotonin, histamine, salsolinol, methyltetrahydroisoquinoline, phenethylamine, telemethylhistamine, spermidine, p-tyramine,3-methyloxytyramine, tryptamine, and spermine.
Now, unless you're a highly trained chemist, the above material may seem like meaningless gobbledygook. What, you ask are the practical effects of using Product W?
That's an easy question to ask, but not so easy to answer. Product W is primarily intended as a legal stimulant, providing the athlete with energy and promoting alertness.
Reports of Product W having beneficial effects on sexual responsiveness in both males and females are widespread, but must be considered anecdotal in the absence of a rigorous research study.
Due to the low melting point of the active ingredient, theobromine, we encase each dosage unit in a hard but thin candy-like shell. As a result, it won't melt in your hand.
While Product W may be swallowed as with other pills, many athletes prefer to chew the pills for more rapid theobromine release. Many people actually find the flavor quite pleasant.
Due to the low concentration of theobromine, usual dosage is anywhere from 10 to 30 Product W tablets at a time, repeated as desired.
Product W users should avoid operating heavy machinery while under its influence, but no problem with light machinery. In the case of bicycles, it is only recommended for use with bicycles weighing 22 pounds (10 kg) or less, for this reason.
Keep this product out of reach of children at all times.
***Product W is for human use only, and may be harmful to dogs.***
Possible Side Effects:
Excessive consumption of Product W may lead to weight gain, insomnia, skin eruptions or dental caries.
Product W tablets come in a variety of cheerful colors, each with a "W" stamped on it.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
Starsky and Hutch:
David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.
Michael Bolton: If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
Samir: I don't want to go to ANY prison!
Frank: "Well, uh, I guess I... Deep down I'm feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly you get married and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't... I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday, for example. We were... We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh... I happened to look over during a certain part of the meal and see a waitress taking an order. And uh, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they're probably basic white, cotton underpants. But I started thinking 'Well, maybe they're s... maybe they're silk panties. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's uh something really cool that I don't know about.' You know? And I... I started feeling... What? What, I thought we were in the trust tree, in the nest. Are we not?"
Scientist (R.D. Reid): "I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh would you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor."
Thurgood: "Just run this down?"
Scientist: "Uh yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P."
Thurgood: "Got ya. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just mop the rest of this shit up, I'll be right back."
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
With the recent allegations of testing positive for a banned performance enhancing drug, Haro Bikes has released Chris Sheppard from his professional racing contract. Sheppard tested positive for EPO in an out-of-competition urine test performed at his home in Kamloops, BC on May 29, 2005.
Sheppard, a Canadian native, has raced for Haro Bikes for a total of 7 years. During this time, he has proven to be a top contender at both NORBA and World Cup race events, most recently finishing 7th in Short Track and 8th in Cross Country overall NORBA series standings. Sheppard has also played an integral role in the research and development of Haro’s mountain bike line.
“We’re obviously disappointed with this news,” said Jim Ford, Haro’s President/CEO. “Chris has been a great ambassador for Haro and the sport of mountain biking for many years. Despite the serious nature of this situation, we still see view Chris as a good person who made a bad mistake.”
Keeping with Haro’s zero tolerance policy when it comes to its athlete’s use of banned performance enhancing drugs, Sheppard has been immediately released from his racing contract.
Haro is a recognized leader in providing innovative performance bikes, parts and accessories to the BMX, dirt, freestyle/street, and mountain bike markets. The company currently has over 1800 dealers throughout the United States and distributors in 48 countries worldwide. Bob Haro, who is known in the BMX industry as the “Father of Freestyle,” founded Haro Bikes in 1978.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
I freaked out a few days ago! No MORE junk food I’m not relaying on my body anymore after retiring from racing so why not run on the cheap food, right? Well let me tell you that stuff SUX! So I flipped and threw out all the junk food and got back on the XC diet, what a difference. It’s amazing how hard it is to get fit and how fast you can loose it, and Cheeseburgers don’t help!
Also I got a new pair of shoes yesterday, I had to attach a picture because they are quit possibly the most comfortable shoes, EVER. Thank you Andy!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski (Boulder, Colo.) captured his fourth consecutive pro men's national cross country title and Mary McConneloug (Chilmark, Mass.) added a second stars and stripes jersey to her closet with a win in the pro women's race.
Travis Brown (Boulder, Colo.) and Gretchen Reeves (Boulder, Colo.) each rode to national titles in the 66-mile marathon event.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode tihnk you can tipe real gode
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Guys that he raced against have other opinions! See Nick Martins P.O.V!
Just in case you have no clue as to what I'm talking about:
The Canadian Press, September 14, 2005
By: NEIL DAVIDSON
In a Canadian first, a mountain biker has been suspended for two years after testing positive for EPO.
EPO is a banned substance that builds endurance by boosting the amount of oxygen-rich red blood cells. It is the same substance that American star Lance Armstrong has been accused of using at the 1999 Tour de France. Armstrong has denied the allegation.
Chris Sheppard, 32, showed traces of the drug at an out-of-competition urine test May 29 at his home in Kamloops, B.C., the Canadian Cycling Association said Tuesday.
Kris Westwood, the association's high performance director, said he went through several emotions when he heard the news.
"To a certain extent yes, shock. Disappointment. I would even say just weariness,'' he said from Ottawa. "We're all tired of hearing doping stories and we all kind of hoped that Canadians were exempt as it were, or we were above that sort of thing.
"I still firmly believe that we are one of the cleanest nations in sport in general. But obviously there's no generalization that you can make about anything.''
Sheppard has competed for Canada internationally and rides professionally for the Haro Bike team. He was eighth in the 2004 Canadian national 30-kilometre race in Quebec, when his ride was hampered by flat tires.
In June, he was 27th at a World Cup event in Quebec.
"I'd describe him as being an athlete in the later phases of a solid mountain biking career,'' said Westwood.
Presence of EPO was found in Sheppard's A-sample, then confirmed in Sheppard's B-sample on July 4, the association said.
EPO was banned in 1990 but the International Cycling Union did not begin a urine test for it until 2001. The first testing actually started in 2000 but it took some labs longer to get up to speed.
"This is certainly the first Canadian athlete, through our Canadian (anti-doping) program that has tested positive for EPO,'' said Paul Melia, president and CEO of the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport.
A form of EPO does naturally occur in the human body _ in the form of a hormone produced by the kidney _ but the test differentiates between natural and other forms of the drug.
EPO is associated with endurance sports and the drug has been seen in cross-country skiing.
"It increases the oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood so it's of tremendous assistance in endurance sports,'' Melia said.
It can be administered in a number of different ways, from injections to blood transfusions.
Westwood said Sheppard has not commented publicly on the positive test. Attempts to reach the rider by phone Tuesday were not immediately successful.
Sheppard is now permanently ineligible to receive financial support from the federal government, Westwood said.
An arbitrator's hearing on the doping test was heard last week. That decision triggered the suspension, although the reasons have yet to be released by the Sport Dispute Resolution Centre of Canada. Star Canadian mountain biker Roland Green tested positive for an asthma medication in 2004. He had permission to use it but he ended up serving a minimum six-month suspension because of paperwork problems.
Monday, September 12, 2005
All I have to say is stay up for two days straight and the stories seem to get longer…BIG TIME! I just finished what most mechanics would call an epic workday; the story goes a little something like this:
Nick Martin sportin some SPF 5000 sun screen!
Pumped to work with the Trek team and support a group of fun/fast racers consisting of NICK MARTIN, TRISTAN SCHOUTEN, ROSS SCHNELL, and BECCA "Holla" BLAY. Oh and how can I forget I had help from and Jessica a.k.a "Nick's Girlfriend". I begin to pack my car with all the necessary items to help a caliber team such as Trek. I get all the basics packed: coffee, yerba mate’ (Yerba Mate’ is a powerful rejuvenating energy beverage grown in its native rainforest environment), food, tools, sleeping bags, etc.,. Hope you get the idea by now. I woke up early to beat the morning traffic and have open mountain roads to rally my car (yes I like to drive fast) at REALLY Fast speeds..
So here is where my day goes upside down. I’m almost to Winter Park killing some pavement and really making good time, oh I also just learned to drift turns, so I’m hitting 20-30mph marked turns at 90-100mph, drifting them and exiting them at 65-75 mph, yes i really like driving fast. Well the “man” is waiting for me as I exit the turn’s apex and I get radar after hitting the brakes and BAM 72mph in a 55mph…bummer. After processing my traffic violation he asks my to get out of the car and cuffs me for an unpaid traffic ticket from a year and a half ago…BIG TIME BUMMER. The COP searches my car (more like throws everything around) and finds a big bag of yerba mate’ and assumes it’s weed, now I’m actually laughing at the whole situation at this point from the awe of what is happening, nonetheless he found out it wasn’t weed and proceeded to chuffer me to jail. Mark Matson Kona Super Wrench gets my S.O.S. distress call and bails me out in no time at all! Thanks Mark IOU!
As for the 24 hour race I got all the bikes out with out any mechanicals…yes my fingers where crossed more then once, nothing like working on bikes that you’ve never touched before, not to mention right after your first prison experience. 24 hour races are so damn much fun, people are in good sprits, funny outfits are almost required, almost everyone is sleep deprived and having a blast doing what they love. Good times!
Ross Schnell and Jessica having a good time at 3:00am
For the race details, well I leave that to the racers like Nick Martin and Becca Blay to give the racers details and for me I’ll just continue to rant about all the funny stuff that I missed while racing professionally for 5 years.
Fred Dreier of VeloNews and editor of Fred’s eye view shows up to race solo!
Monday, September 05, 2005
Ahhhh its over! The NORBA series has come to a wonderful rest and seeing that I have Canadian athletes, well, I don’t have to attend National Championships! So my season is almost over?!?! What to do with every waking hour free to myself? Oh I can find something.
Humm here’s a recap to my season:
Number of Miles driven to date: 24,785
Number of Beds I’ve slept in: 41
Number of 12 packs of fresca bought to date: 22
Number of Red Bull lights consumed to “NOT FALL ASLEEP Driving": 43
Number of nights spent in the hospital: 1
Number of days I hated my job: NONE
I truly hope to do it again next year! Now I’m going to take some time to myself and compile some more useless ramble for this site, so please stay tuned it’s only getting better! Now I’m off to bag another 14er, Viva La OFF SEASON!