Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Thanksgiving Day Ride...

It was a damn good time to do a townie ride with my friends and fellow cyclists, nothing like burning some calories before the "Turkey Day" FEAST! Yes I did 2+ hours in my "Engineering Over-Alls" and casual attire, that's the benefit of not training anymore, I'm a recreational rider and feel I should dress the part...

==================This is worth the read!!!==================
Anger Management:

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew. NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Monday, November 21, 2005

Allison Dunlap's Retirement Party

It’s now official after this weekend, she is retired from racing, and I was able to attend an exciting evening with a portion of the proceeds donated to the Brest Cancer Foundation.

Good Times, Good Times! Where my only thoughts when Allison gave he retirement speech, it was a choked up moment listening to all of her accomplishments during the past 18 years, not just as a cyclist, but in academia, as a loving wife, and how proud here father was of her life to this date.

Mountain Biking lost a FEIRCE competitor this year, a world champion, 14 time National Champion, and on hell of a nice person. I on the other hand have someone to bug during the day for fun casual rides that have no training specific requirements what so ever!

Best luck on your Coaching and Adventure camps Allison! And thanks again for dinner!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Extra Time anyone?

You know you have an abundance of time when you decide that melting cheese on a cracker can be perfected!?!? And apparently today, I had that kind of time to spare!

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Denver became the first city in the nation to make the private use of marijuana legal for adults 21 and older as an alternative to alcohol, a far more harmful drug. By 10.45 p.m. Tuesday night, with 100% of the votes tallied, the Alcohol-Marijuana Equalization Initiative had passed 53.49% YES to 46.51% NO. The Alcohol-Marijuana Equalization Initiative is the first local measure in the nation to draw a comparison between the harms of alcohol and marijuana. The successful I-100 campaign focused on the vast number of health, safety and social problems associated with alcohol use, promoting marijuana use to avoid the prevalence of such problems. The campaign pointed to government reports and scholarly studies that show alcohol is a contributing factor in domestic violence, sexual assaults, and other violent crimes, as well as overdose deaths, whereas the use of marijuana has never been linked to such violent behavior and there has never been a marijuana overdose death in history. Colorado Medical Marijuana certificate "It is time our laws reflect the facts, and it is an indisputable fact that marijuana is safer than alcohol, both to the user and to society," said Mason Tvert, executive director of SAFER and coordinator of the I-100 campaign. "Current laws accept and even encourage the use of alcohol over marijuana, thus pushing people toward using a more harmful substance. Why on earth would we prohibit an adult from making the rational, safer choice to use marijuana instead of alcohol in their own home?" By approving the I-100, the use of marijuana in public, the use of marijuana by people under 21, driving under the influence of marijuana, and the cultivation and distribution of marijuana would all remain illegal, much like with alcohol.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Cruiser/Townie Cannonball Run!!! across town...

No this is FUNNY! And I know FUNNY!

(Who knows GOD might even show up?!?! Dont hold your breath...hehe)

Please pass this on to anyone that you think might be interested

This Saturday, Nov 12th at 3:00pm

The race will sport longer routes with more options = more tactics = more fun!

Ok, you're probably wondering just how this is going to work right? Well here's the jist:

Race Rules:

*This is a two person team race, any age or gender mix is legit. Pick your partner ahead of time, if you don't have a partner, no worries, we'll figure something out. Teams must ride together at all times! Sure you can ride with other teams if you like, as long as your partner is there with you.

*Helmets are mandatory....any helmet.....aannnnyyyy helmet! Yes, that one's fine.

*There will be mandatory ATM stops along the routes, all team members must bring their ATM cards and provide check of balance(should be no fee associated)(don't worry I can probably beat anyone's low balance) receipts along with the course map at the finish line! If you don't wish to use the ATM then you should be prepared to prove that you were at all locations (store receipts, pictures of you at the location, etc, creativity allowed. Anything questionable will be judged by other racers/piers).

***Anyone wishing to participate will meet at the bridge crossing the creek next to Criterium Bike Shop at 3pm Saturday, Nov. 12th (This Saturday!!!) How you get there is up to you; ride, drive, hang glide(time bonus' if you actually hang glide)(seriously)(yes, if you hang glide you can have someone else bring your bike for you).

*There will be a racer meeting of sorts at 3pm
*The race will start promptly-ish at 3:15pm(what do you mean that's not a word?)
*The race will finish at Benny's bar/pub/watering hole...hey does anyone know what the actual establishment term is here? No time bonus' for that one. Benny's is located 517 W. Colorado Ave.
*Derbying will be allowed on part of the course, though not 'encouraged' of course.
*Course maps will be picked by the teams at or around the start of the race. (don't worry about what i mean by that)
*Awards will begin shortly after the last team arrives at the finish....especially if that's me.
Bike/ride Rules:
*Any Townie or Cruiser(beach) is allowed....however you will be limited to no more than 5 speed/5 gears. If you have more than 5 gears then you must gain the approval of the rest of the field and/ or we will limit the shiftability for you.(and restore it upon your finishing the race of course)
*This time and this time only, single speed mountain bikes will be allowed, but only if I know for a fact that you don't own a cruiser or townie. Also, at least one person on the team must be on a townie or cruiser. No one team can consist of all S.S. mountain bikes. Anyone using a single speed must be running knobbie tires, no slicks on single speeds.
*Please bring some sort of light system as it will most likely get dark during or shortly after the race.
*This is a race across town along multiple routes. This is a self supported race, which means that you are expected to have what you need with you to fix your bike in case of mechanical mishap...flat tires, skipped(derailed) chain, etc.
*** if you have ANY questions please e-mail me.

Fine Print:
This is a race at your own risk event! races are extremely dangerous!!!!!!!!! We don't encourage doing any of these races. If you aren't prepared to suffer the potential consequences then you shouldn't race, plain and simple. If racing please know and ride with in your personal limits. There will be pedestrians and traffic along the course, you will be expected to obey all traffic rules and give pedestrians the right of way. Please don't do anything that would give cyclists or cycling a bad name. Or a worse name in this particular town.

Friday, November 04, 2005


2006 National Mountain Bike Series
NMBS # 1 – May 5-7 - Los Angeles, CA
NMBS # 2 – June 9-11 – Sugar Mountain, NC
NMBS # 3 – June 16-18 – Mount Snow, VT
NMBS # 4 – July 7-9 – Deer Valley, UT
USAC MTB National Championship – July 20-23 –Mammoth Lakes, CA
NMBS # 5 – August 4-6 – Brian Head, UT
NMBS # 6 – August 11-13 – Snowmass, CO

2006 North American UCI Mountain Bike Calendar
Sea Otter Classic April 7-8 Monterey, CA
NMBS #1 May 5-7 Los Angeles, CA
Canada Cup June 3-4 Hardwood Hills, ON
NMBS # 2 June 9-11 Sugar Mountain, NC
Canada Cup June 10-11 Mont-Tremblant, QC
Canada Cup June 18 Mont-Sainte-Anne, QC
NMBS # 3 June 17-18 Mount Snow, VT
UCI World Cup June 24-25 Mont-Sainte-Anne, QC
Canada Cup July 8-9 Panorama, BC
NMBS # 4 July 7-10 Deer Valley, UT
Canada Cup July 29-30 Sun Peaks, BC
Canada Cup August 5-6 Whistler, BC
NMBS # 5 August 4-6 Brian Head, UT
NMBS # 6 August 11-13 Snowmass, CO