WanderingWrench.com

Late Fall Camping

2010-11-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

Goodtimes at 30degF...Having a fire, and camping. What else could on ask for.

Witer is HERE

2010-11-12T17:01:00.000-08:00

Koryn and I made it to the top of OLD MONARCH PASS, but with the use of 4WD and a shovel a few times. Winters here in Colorado and the Ski season is upon us.

690 Totaled

2009-10-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Colorado Peak Bagging on the 690

2009-09-29T08:03:00.001-07:00

Rampart Range Road on the way out of town

OLD Monarch Pass

Looking outward from 10,000+ feet

Marshall Pass

How long has it been?

2009-08-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

My NEW Ride. Thanks Phil Hess at the Colorado Cyclist!

Koryns resto via rattlecan yellow on a 1964 Schwinn Cruiser w/2.25 MTB tires! Check the Brooks saddle out...

And the new hog in the stable...

-BHo

Back In The Day...

2007-04-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

WINTER IN COLORADO

2007-01-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in Denver. It is so beautiful
here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it
covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE

OCT. 14
Denver is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and
orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer.

They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This
must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.

NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can not imagine anyone
wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol
of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT
HERE.

DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned
snow off the steps and shoveled the drive way. We had
a snowball fight today (I won).When the snowplow came by
we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place.
Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick
again that rascal. A winter wonderland. Wonder where all those

snowplows are? I LOVE IT HERE.

DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to
get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling.
Damn Snowplow!

DEC. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around
the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That asshole!!!

DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More snow. If I ever get
my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow,
I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why
they don't use more salt on this freaking ice!

DEC. 28
More of the same shit last night . Been inside since Christmas
day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go
anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white shit.
The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this shit
tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10
inches is?

JAN. 1
Happy freaking New Year My Ass!!. The weatherman was
wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 inches of snow this time. At this
rate it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snowplow got
stuck down the road and shit for brains had the balls to
come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him
I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed
into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his head.

JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car
and I hit the damn deer. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the
car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe
the body is rotting away from all the Crap they keep dumping
All over the roads. It really looks like a piece of shit.

MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can not imagine why anyone in
their right mind would want to live in the God forsaken State
of Colorado.

It’s a different world up here.

2006-04-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in Alaska for a short period of time, and well long enough to get a feel for climate, geographic bearing, and a sense of the social dynamics that come with a population of 800. The weather is much like the Pacific Northwest, but with a twist, it’s much more unpredictable here, we have spots of sunshine and snow storms all in on afternoon. Judging from the pass from Canada to town (the only road outa here) I will have ample skiing here all year round, I’m sitting in town (21 blocks long and 4 blocks wide) that is in a small valley located at sea level, encompassed by snow covered mountains, a fjord that is fueled with sea water from the Pacific Ocean, and not much else but views here…I mean no Movie theater, not a single chain franchise (well with the exception of a seasonal StarBucks Coffee), no free Wi-Fi, basically take everything that you’ve taken for granted and toss it out the window! No UPS or Fed-Ex delivery, No Clothing Stores, No Automotive Repair shop, ete.,.

But the hikes are amazing! Views? You ask? The kind of views that make a National Geographic Magazine Cover. Period. It’s that good! Ravens, Crows, and Bald Eagles swarm in the sun filled skies, while Bear, Moose, Caribou, Rams, and Mountain Goats claim the land as home. Let’s see what about the sea? Well, we get fresh fish every week at the dock, Salmon, Shrimp, Crab, you name it…

As for publishing this stuff please understand it’s a different world up here! People move slower and getting to a connection to upload my stories may take sometime, but nevertheless, please keep in touch for more updates to come as I figure out to adapt to the land that time forgot.

It truly is paradise up here if you can find a way to make a living!

Take care,

Billy Holmes

2006-03-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

Ok once again it’s been forever since my last update, but what am I to write about work? So something exciting has happened! I’m moving to Alaska for the Spring/Summer, that’s right Alaska?!?! The land of Fjord’s, Glaciers, Bears, and all-you-can eat Salmon (just remember bears eat first).

Seeing that I’ll have something like 20+hours of daylight I hope to be able to do some fun stuff, I’ve compiled a list of things to do.

Tele Ski on a Glacier.
Float a Kayak on a lake with Ice surroundings.
Resort to the Hunter and Gatherer life style and catch my own food.
Watch some 3000 bald eagles feast on salmon during spawning season.
See a bear face-to-face and hopefully live to tell the story (fingers crossed).
Take a Flight to a remote lake for the weekend and stay in a cabin.

The list will be updated as I learn more about AK!

2006-02-28T17:08:00.000-08:00

I though it was Funny!

Bicyclult

2006-01-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

One of my back in the day riding partners and GOOD friend Terry Beenken is up and running with his new BIZ... So check out just a small preveiw of what Terry has for sale, and email him if you want the goods!

email Terry Beenken HERE!!!

6splatter

10oldtimer

7FTWBMX

Shinner

Management vs. Engineers

2006-01-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

Blackie sent me this email a while back...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude
and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied,
"You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

healing up nicely

2006-01-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

I’ve been healing up nicely and in that time I’ve been laying low thinking of something to post on this silly ass site, my thought’s where something serious and to the point, but then I decided that enough of that stuff is floating around already...so I went into fail-safe mode and decided your read this because of my useless babble!

So my question is weighing on my heavily, and I’m going to need some help from you to figure this one out!

“Where do DUST BUNNIES come from?” I’m having a hard time figuring it out! I keep cleaning the house (destroying populations) and then a few hours later, I’ll see a rouge Dust Bunny (DB) moving across the floor with out noise, almost stealth like, as if is was hovering about the wood floors to relocate. It’s truly an eerie felling knowing that the unknown is living, breading, and playing in your house with –or- with out your presence!

I’ve decided the best form of understanding the DB is by researching what my fellow inter-web users have posted, using the most common method…duh, Google it! Yes it’s the surfer’s way, don’t know the answer? Google it. So I’ve found no sound information as the origin of the DB, but many people are plagued by the population of DB, and better yet in some cases the OVER POPULATION of unwelcome DB!

Facts about the DB:

-DB are very prolific. There is no such thing as ONE DB. Left to their own vices, DB will reproduce at alarming rates.

-DB need a quiet, dark place to make a hutch or home, under beds and dressers are the ideal spots. Don't be surprised if you catch them crawling the walls and hanging from the chandeliers (how do they do that?).

-Now that the heating season in here, make sure that you have collected your DB off of the heaters and registers. Burnt fur does not smell very good!
I need more information, so please email me if you have any input to the issue!

broken clavicle + plate w/6 screws + surgery = 2 months of boredom!

2005-12-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

It's not going to be a long entry, because typing w/ my left hand is taking forever!

It's been 4 days since surgery and today was my post operation check-up so all I can think of is a special thanks list to everyone that helped me over the past week.

-Allison Dunlap thanks for hooking me up with Dr. Weinstein of Premier Orthopedics (719) 570-7272 he truly is the best shoulder Dr. EVER!

-Kelli Emmett and Koryn Stoner for checking up on me and taking really good care of an old guy.

-My roommate Dougie for surrendering his portion of our living room for my make-shift recovery room/bed room.

-Mom, Dad, and my Sister for calling everyday to make sure everything is ok, and even my dad who would have jumped on a jet to come help for a few days!

Click here: Allison's Shoulder Surgery

The Thanksgiving Day Ride...

2005-11-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

It was a damn good time to do a townie ride with my friends and fellow cyclists, nothing like burning some calories before the "Turkey Day" FEAST! Yes I did 2+ hours in my "Engineering Over-Alls" and casual attire, that's the benefit of not training anymore, I'm a recreational rider and feel I should dress the part...

==================This is worth the read!!!==================
Anger Management:

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew. NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

Allison Dunlap's Retirement Party

2005-11-21T14:34:00.000-08:00

It’s now official after this weekend, she is retired from racing, and I was able to attend an exciting evening with a portion of the proceeds donated to the Brest Cancer Foundation.

Good Times, Good Times! Where my only thoughts when Allison gave he retirement speech, it was a choked up moment listening to all of her accomplishments during the past 18 years, not just as a cyclist, but in academia, as a loving wife, and how proud here father was of her life to this date.

Mountain Biking lost a FEIRCE competitor this year, a world champion, 14 time National Champion, and on hell of a nice person. I on the other hand have someone to bug during the day for fun casual rides that have no training specific requirements what so ever!

Best luck on your Coaching and Adventure camps Allison! And thanks again for dinner!

Extra Time anyone?

2005-11-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

You know you have an abundance of time when you decide that melting cheese on a cracker can be perfected!?!? And apparently today, I had that kind of time to spare!

!?!?

2005-11-13T16:59:00.000-08:00

Denver became the first city in the nation to make the private use of marijuana legal for adults 21 and older as an alternative to alcohol, a far more harmful drug. By 10.45 p.m. Tuesday night, with 100% of the votes tallied, the Alcohol-Marijuana Equalization Initiative had passed 53.49% YES to 46.51% NO. The Alcohol-Marijuana Equalization Initiative is the first local measure in the nation to draw a comparison between the harms of alcohol and marijuana. The successful I-100 campaign focused on the vast number of health, safety and social problems associated with alcohol use, promoting marijuana use to avoid the prevalence of such problems. The campaign pointed to government reports and scholarly studies that show alcohol is a contributing factor in domestic violence, sexual assaults, and other violent crimes, as well as overdose deaths, whereas the use of marijuana has never been linked to such violent behavior and there has never been a marijuana overdose death in history. Colorado Medical Marijuana certificate "It is time our laws reflect the facts, and it is an indisputable fact that marijuana is safer than alcohol, both to the user and to society," said Mason Tvert, executive director of SAFER and coordinator of the I-100 campaign. "Current laws accept and even encourage the use of alcohol over marijuana, thus pushing people toward using a more harmful substance. Why on earth would we prohibit an adult from making the rational, safer choice to use marijuana instead of alcohol in their own home?" By approving the I-100, the use of marijuana in public, the use of marijuana by people under 21, driving under the influence of marijuana, and the cultivation and distribution of marijuana would all remain illegal, much like with alcohol.

Cruiser/Townie Cannonball Run!!! across town...

2005-11-09T15:24:00.000-08:00

No this is FUNNY! And I know FUNNY!

(Who knows GOD might even show up?!?! Dont hold your breath...hehe)

Please pass this on to anyone that you think might be interested

This Saturday, Nov 12th at 3:00pm

The race will sport longer routes with more options = more tactics = more fun!

Ok, you're probably wondering just how this is going to work right? Well here's the jist:

Race Rules:

*This is a two person team race, any age or gender mix is legit. Pick your partner ahead of time, if you don't have a partner, no worries, we'll figure something out. Teams must ride together at all times! Sure you can ride with other teams if you like, as long as your partner is there with you.

*Helmets are mandatory....any helmet.....aannnnyyyy helmet! Yes, that one's fine.

*There will be mandatory ATM stops along the routes, all team members must bring their ATM cards and provide check of balance(should be no fee associated)(don't worry I can probably beat anyone's low balance) receipts along with the course map at the finish line! If you don't wish to use the ATM then you should be prepared to prove that you were at all locations (store receipts, pictures of you at the location, etc, creativity allowed. Anything questionable will be judged by other racers/piers).

***Anyone wishing to participate will meet at the bridge crossing the creek next to Criterium Bike Shop at 3pm Saturday, Nov. 12th (This Saturday!!!) How you get there is up to you; ride, drive, hang glide(time bonus' if you actually hang glide)(seriously)(yes, if you hang glide you can have someone else bring your bike for you).

*There will be a racer meeting of sorts at 3pm
*The race will start promptly-ish at 3:15pm(what do you mean that's not a word?)
*The race will finish at Benny's bar/pub/watering hole...hey does anyone know what the actual establishment term is here? No time bonus' for that one. Benny's is located 517 W. Colorado Ave.
*Derbying will be allowed on part of the course, though not 'encouraged' of course.
*Course maps will be picked by the teams at or around the start of the race. (don't worry about what i mean by that)
*Awards will begin shortly after the last team arrives at the finish....especially if that's me.
Bike/ride Rules:
*Any Townie or Cruiser(beach) is allowed....however you will be limited to no more than 5 speed/5 gears. If you have more than 5 gears then you must gain the approval of the rest of the field and/ or we will limit the shiftability for you.(and restore it upon your finishing the race of course)
*This time and this time only, single speed mountain bikes will be allowed, but only if I know for a fact that you don't own a cruiser or townie. Also, at least one person on the team must be on a townie or cruiser. No one team can consist of all S.S. mountain bikes. Anyone using a single speed must be running knobbie tires, no slicks on single speeds.
*Please bring some sort of light system as it will most likely get dark during or shortly after the race.
*This is a race across town along multiple routes. This is a self supported race, which means that you are expected to have what you need with you to fix your bike in case of mechanical mishap...flat tires, skipped(derailed) chain, etc.
*** if you have ANY questions please e-mail me.

Fine Print:
This is a race at your own risk event! races are extremely dangerous!!!!!!!!! We don't encourage doing any of these races. If you aren't prepared to suffer the potential consequences then you shouldn't race, plain and simple. If racing please know and ride with in your personal limits. There will be pedestrians and traffic along the course, you will be expected to obey all traffic rules and give pedestrians the right of way. Please don't do anything that would give cyclists or cycling a bad name. Or a worse name in this particular town.

2006 NORBA/UCI

2005-11-04T15:12:00.000-08:00

2006 National Mountain Bike Series
NMBS # 1 – May 5-7 - Los Angeles, CA
NMBS # 2 – June 9-11 – Sugar Mountain, NC
NMBS # 3 – June 16-18 – Mount Snow, VT
NMBS # 4 – July 7-9 – Deer Valley, UT
USAC MTB National Championship – July 20-23 –Mammoth Lakes, CA
NMBS # 5 – August 4-6 – Brian Head, UT
NMBS # 6 – August 11-13 – Snowmass, CO

2006 North American UCI Mountain Bike Calendar
Sea Otter Classic April 7-8 Monterey, CA
NMBS #1 May 5-7 Los Angeles, CA
Canada Cup June 3-4 Hardwood Hills, ON
NMBS # 2 June 9-11 Sugar Mountain, NC
Canada Cup June 10-11 Mont-Tremblant, QC
Canada Cup June 18 Mont-Sainte-Anne, QC
NMBS # 3 June 17-18 Mount Snow, VT
UCI World Cup June 24-25 Mont-Sainte-Anne, QC
Canada Cup July 8-9 Panorama, BC
NMBS # 4 July 7-10 Deer Valley, UT
Canada Cup July 29-30 Sun Peaks, BC
Canada Cup August 5-6 Whistler, BC
NMBS # 5 August 4-6 Brian Head, UT
NMBS # 6 August 11-13 Snowmass, CO

I'm rich biatch...

2005-10-31T07:55:00.000-08:00

My blog is worth $832,148.18.
How much is your blog worth?

Damn Sager is F-ing up!

The Roommate.

2005-10-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hide your daughters...this heart breaker is on the loose!

My roommate got his Halloween costume dialed last night for todays "working mans Halloween". Somehow looking like a dirty fits him!?!? Na I think it's a hilarious replica of the 1970's Steve Prefontaine, nice work Dougie!
PS Love the "Stash" aka D.B.

Ahhhh Halloween!

2005-10-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

I got creative today and decided to take a "time-out" from the relentless world and well...add a little bit of twisted Halloween art to my garden!

at what point should we stop...

2005-10-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up I had a sticker "he who dies with the most toys wins!"...I thought it was silly and had it on my first tool box (which I still have), but after reflection upon my present employment situation (part-time) and desired lifestyle to play as much as possible, well, I think I might be winning the game! Correct me if I'm wrong -or- call me cocky if you desire.

I cant imagine what people do w/o hobbies, dreams, desire to push themselves, or just a general passion. For instance my roommate told me yesterday that our TV was broken, I thought...I'll have an extra 1.5 hour w/o watching my one movie per week, instead of thinking we need to fix it ASAP.

I guess it was just a random thought when I opened my garage today to work on my MX bike, but it hit me that I'm really enjoying my time here and couldn't be anymore auspicious with my hobbies!

2 weeks since my last update?!?!

2005-10-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

What can I say even for a bicycle team mechanic there is an off season, and I've been enjoying it to it's fullest! I've been engaged on mini road trips, getting employment for 2006 (to be announced), bought a new motorcycle and have been hitting the track w/Blackie, and riding a little bit to keep for getting FAT!

Oh if anyone is reading this in the Colorado Springs area: this sat, 7:00pm @ Black Sheep. Lucero is playing! Yeah it's like my favorite band EVER! Check it out @ Lucero Music!

Take Care,
Billy

The Secret of Cycling Success!

2005-09-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

All this talk about DRUG USE...

We all know that there are lots of different pills available to the athelete with various "performance enhancers." Some of them work, but are illegal. Others are legal, but don't work very well.

"Product W" a highly effective performance enhancment pill that is completely legal! (At least for the moment...)

The primary active ingredient in Product W is the miracle drug

3,7-Dihydro-3,7-dimethyle-1H-prine-2,6-dione
More popularly known as: Theobromine

Theobromine is an all natural substance obtained at great expense from certain tropical plants.

Here's the dope on theobromine chemistry:

NAME : Theobromine
CHEMICAL NAME : 3,7-Dihydro-3,7-dimethyle-1H-prine-2,6-dione
ALTERNATE CHEMICAL NAMES : 3,7-dimethylxanthine
CHEMICAL FORMULA: C7H8N4O2
MOLECULAR WEIGHT: 180.17

Product W contains a variety of chemicals, with the primary psychoactive components being theobromine (about 1% of total weight) and caffeine (<.1%). Other chemicals include serotonin, histamine, salsolinol, methyltetrahydroisoquinoline, phenethylamine, telemethylhistamine, spermidine, p-tyramine,3-methyloxytyramine, tryptamine, and spermine.

Now, unless you're a highly trained chemist, the above material may seem like meaningless gobbledygook. What, you ask are the practical effects of using Product W?

That's an easy question to ask, but not so easy to answer. Product W is primarily intended as a legal stimulant, providing the athlete with energy and promoting alertness.

Reports of Product W having beneficial effects on sexual responsiveness in both males and females are widespread, but must be considered anecdotal in the absence of a rigorous research study.

Dosage:
Due to the low melting point of the active ingredient, theobromine, we encase each dosage unit in a hard but thin candy-like shell. As a result, it won't melt in your hand.

While Product W may be swallowed as with other pills, many athletes prefer to chew the pills for more rapid theobromine release. Many people actually find the flavor quite pleasant.

Due to the low concentration of theobromine, usual dosage is anywhere from 10 to 30 Product W tablets at a time, repeated as desired.

Cautions:
Product W users should avoid operating heavy machinery while under its influence, but no problem with light machinery. In the case of bicycles, it is only recommended for use with bicycles weighing 22 pounds (10 kg) or less, for this reason.
Keep this product out of reach of children at all times.

***Product W is for human use only, and may be harmful to dogs.***

Possible Side Effects:
Excessive consumption of Product W may lead to weight gain, insomnia, skin eruptions or dental caries.

Format :
Product W tablets come in a variety of cheerful colors, each with a "W" stamped on it.

Movie Quotes

2005-09-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Zoolander:
Derek Zoolander: Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Starsky and Hutch:
David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.

Office Space:
Michael Bolton: If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
Samir: I don't want to go to ANY prison!

Old School:
Frank: "Well, uh, I guess I... Deep down I'm feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly you get married and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't... I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday, for example. We were... We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh... I happened to look over during a certain part of the meal and see a waitress taking an order. And uh, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they're probably basic white, cotton underpants. But I started thinking 'Well, maybe they're s... maybe they're silk panties. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's uh something really cool that I don't know about.' You know? And I... I started feeling... What? What, I thought we were in the trust tree, in the nest. Are we not?"

Half-Baked:
Scientist (R.D. Reid): "I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh would you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor."
Thurgood: "Just run this down?"
Scientist: "Uh yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P."
Thurgood: "Got ya. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just mop the rest of this shit up, I'll be right back."

One-Year Anniversary

2005-09-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

It’s been a year since my last pro XC race, and it is still a little hard to grasp that I’m no longer an athlete. I’m twisting wrenches for a living and it’s passing the time, but I keep getting emails with pictures like the one attached that represent the end of 27years of bicycle racing (BMX, Road, Cyclo-cross, MTB), Crazy!

Haro Releases Pro Mountain Biker Chris Sheppard

2005-09-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

Source: Jill Hamilton a.k.a. My Boss

With the recent allegations of testing positive for a banned performance enhancing drug, Haro Bikes has released Chris Sheppard from his professional racing contract. Sheppard tested positive for EPO in an out-of-competition urine test performed at his home in Kamloops, BC on May 29, 2005.

Sheppard, a Canadian native, has raced for Haro Bikes for a total of 7 years. During this time, he has proven to be a top contender at both NORBA and World Cup race events, most recently finishing 7th in Short Track and 8th in Cross Country overall NORBA series standings. Sheppard has also played an integral role in the research and development of Haro’s mountain bike line.

“We’re obviously disappointed with this news,” said Jim Ford, Haro’s President/CEO. “Chris has been a great ambassador for Haro and the sport of mountain biking for many years. Despite the serious nature of this situation, we still see view Chris as a good person who made a bad mistake.”

Keeping with Haro’s zero tolerance policy when it comes to its athlete’s use of banned performance enhancing drugs, Sheppard has been immediately released from his racing contract.

Haro is a recognized leader in providing innovative performance bikes, parts and accessories to the BMX, dirt, freestyle/street, and mountain bike markets. The company currently has over 1800 dealers throughout the United States and distributors in 48 countries worldwide. Bob Haro, who is known in the BMX industry as the “Father of Freestyle,” founded Haro Bikes in 1978.

Enough is enough!

2005-09-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

I freaked out a few days ago! No MORE junk food I’m not relaying on my body anymore after retiring from racing so why not run on the cheap food, right? Well let me tell you that stuff SUX! So I flipped and threw out all the junk food and got back on the XC diet, what a difference. It’s amazing how hard it is to get fit and how fast you can loose it, and Cheeseburgers don’t help!

Also I got a new pair of shoes yesterday, I had to attach a picture because they are quit possibly the most comfortable shoes, EVER. Thank you Andy!

Horgan-Kobelski, McConneloug Take Pro Cross Country Titles.

2005-09-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

XC:
Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski (Boulder, Colo.) captured his fourth consecutive pro men's national cross country title and Mary McConneloug (Chilmark, Mass.) added a second stars and stripes jersey to her closet with a win in the pro women's race.

Matathon Winners:
Travis Brown (Boulder, Colo.) and Gretchen Reeves (Boulder, Colo.) each rode to national titles in the 66-mile marathon event.

WARNING:

2005-09-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode tihnk you can tipe real gode

Canadian mountain biker tests positive for EPO, banned for two years

2005-09-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

All I can say is that I’m bummed at what happened this week! I hope that he can survive this, he truly is an awesome guy to work for and I wish him the best in what ever endeavor he takes on after this!!! Best of luck Chris!!!

Guys that he raced against have other opinions! See Nick Martins P.O.V!

Just in case you have no clue as to what I'm talking about:

The Canadian Press, September 14, 2005

By: NEIL DAVIDSON
In a Canadian first, a mountain biker has been suspended for two years after testing positive for EPO.

EPO is a banned substance that builds endurance by boosting the amount of oxygen-rich red blood cells. It is the same substance that American star Lance Armstrong has been accused of using at the 1999 Tour de France. Armstrong has denied the allegation.

Chris Sheppard, 32, showed traces of the drug at an out-of-competition urine test May 29 at his home in Kamloops, B.C., the Canadian Cycling Association said Tuesday.

Kris Westwood, the association's high performance director, said he went through several emotions when he heard the news.

"To a certain extent yes, shock. Disappointment. I would even say just weariness,'' he said from Ottawa. "We're all tired of hearing doping stories and we all kind of hoped that Canadians were exempt as it were, or we were above that sort of thing.

"I still firmly believe that we are one of the cleanest nations in sport in general. But obviously there's no generalization that you can make about anything.''

Sheppard has competed for Canada internationally and rides professionally for the Haro Bike team. He was eighth in the 2004 Canadian national 30-kilometre race in Quebec, when his ride was hampered by flat tires.

In June, he was 27th at a World Cup event in Quebec.

"I'd describe him as being an athlete in the later phases of a solid mountain biking career,'' said Westwood.

Presence of EPO was found in Sheppard's A-sample, then confirmed in Sheppard's B-sample on July 4, the association said.

EPO was banned in 1990 but the International Cycling Union did not begin a urine test for it until 2001. The first testing actually started in 2000 but it took some labs longer to get up to speed.

"This is certainly the first Canadian athlete, through our Canadian (anti-doping) program that has tested positive for EPO,'' said Paul Melia, president and CEO of the Canadian Centre for Ethics in Sport.

A form of EPO does naturally occur in the human body _ in the form of a hormone produced by the kidney _ but the test differentiates between natural and other forms of the drug.

EPO is associated with endurance sports and the drug has been seen in cross-country skiing.

"It increases the oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood so it's of tremendous assistance in endurance sports,'' Melia said.

It can be administered in a number of different ways, from injections to blood transfusions.

Westwood said Sheppard has not commented publicly on the positive test. Attempts to reach the rider by phone Tuesday were not immediately successful.

Sheppard is now permanently ineligible to receive financial support from the federal government, Westwood said.

An arbitrator's hearing on the doping test was heard last week. That decision triggered the suspension, although the reasons have yet to be released by the Sport Dispute Resolution Centre of Canada. Star Canadian mountain biker Roland Green tested positive for an asthma medication in 2004. He had permission to use it but he ended up serving a minimum six-month suspension because of paperwork problems.

This could get long…

2005-09-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

24 Hr Global Championships in Winter Park

All I have to say is stay up for two days straight and the stories seem to get longer…BIG TIME! I just finished what most mechanics would call an epic workday; the story goes a little something like this:

Nick Martin sportin some SPF 5000 sun screen!

Pumped to work with the Trek team and support a group of fun/fast racers consisting of NICK MARTIN, TRISTAN SCHOUTEN, ROSS SCHNELL, and BECCA "Holla" BLAY. Oh and how can I forget I had help from and Jessica a.k.a "Nick's Girlfriend". I begin to pack my car with all the necessary items to help a caliber team such as Trek. I get all the basics packed: coffee, yerba mate’ (Yerba Mate’ is a powerful rejuvenating energy beverage grown in its native rainforest environment), food, tools, sleeping bags, etc.,. Hope you get the idea by now. I woke up early to beat the morning traffic and have open mountain roads to rally my car (yes I like to drive fast) at REALLY Fast speeds..

So here is where my day goes upside down. I’m almost to Winter Park killing some pavement and really making good time, oh I also just learned to drift turns, so I’m hitting 20-30mph marked turns at 90-100mph, drifting them and exiting them at 65-75 mph, yes i really like driving fast. Well the “man” is waiting for me as I exit the turn’s apex and I get radar after hitting the brakes and BAM 72mph in a 55mph…bummer. After processing my traffic violation he asks my to get out of the car and cuffs me for an unpaid traffic ticket from a year and a half ago…BIG TIME BUMMER. The COP searches my car (more like throws everything around) and finds a big bag of yerba mate’ and assumes it’s weed, now I’m actually laughing at the whole situation at this point from the awe of what is happening, nonetheless he found out it wasn’t weed and proceeded to chuffer me to jail. Mark Matson Kona Super Wrench gets my S.O.S. distress call and bails me out in no time at all! Thanks Mark IOU!

As for the 24 hour race I got all the bikes out with out any mechanicals…yes my fingers where crossed more then once, nothing like working on bikes that you’ve never touched before, not to mention right after your first prison experience. 24 hour races are so damn much fun, people are in good sprits, funny outfits are almost required, almost everyone is sleep deprived and having a blast doing what they love. Good times!

Ross Schnell and Jessica having a good time at 3:00am

For the race details, well I leave that to the racers like Nick Martin and Becca Blay to give the racers details and for me I’ll just continue to rant about all the funny stuff that I missed while racing professionally for 5 years.

Fred Dreier of VeloNews and editor of Fred’s eye view shows up to race solo!

Wander on...

2005-09-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh its over! The NORBA series has come to a wonderful rest and seeing that I have Canadian athletes, well, I don’t have to attend National Championships! So my season is almost over?!?! What to do with every waking hour free to myself? Oh I can find something.

Humm here’s a recap to my season:

Number of Miles driven to date: 24,785

Number of Beds I’ve slept in: 41

Number of 12 packs of fresca bought to date: 22

Number of Red Bull lights consumed to “NOT FALL ASLEEP Driving": 43

Number of nights spent in the hospital: 1

Number of days I hated my job: NONE

I truly hope to do it again next year! Now I’m going to take some time to myself and compile some more useless ramble for this site, so please stay tuned it’s only getting better! Now I’m off to bag another 14er, Viva La OFF SEASON!

New Link added...

2005-08-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

I just added Nick Martins site to my links. He just updated his site w/ a call in from my roommate Doug Ryden (see past interview). Check this white Rasta out Click Here for the voice update...hehe

Hope all is well, one more week of work for me and 3 moths of play, damn, my life is hard!

SOLD

2005-08-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

The only thing Wal-Mart is good for!

2005-08-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back Mike BLACKmore a.k.a. Blackie (as pictured) and I went Dickies work short shopping. Just an FYI Wal-Mart has the cheapest Dickies work shorts, $15.92 plus TAX buys you any color, any size! Oh back to the story; so we hit the mall with a few useless expenditures (i.e. my new Puma Driving Shoes) and several panic attacks later we end up here…yes, Wal-Mart and one of your best bro's has a silly ass grin buying his first pair of work shorts at the cheapest price possible! As for you fellow travelers if your going to Australia buy as many as you can! Sell them to skate shops, auzzies will pay $100.00AUS for USA designer Dickies work shorts… you do the math, take 15 pairs over with you, sell them to a skate shop for $60.00AUS and clear about 35-40 US, that will pay for ½ your airfare!

Kickin some 14er ASS!

2005-08-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

Billy atop Mt. Lincoln

Time away from work can only mean one thing, play time! Yesterday at 4:30am I found myself in a barrowed 4x4 (thanks Blackie) on the way to pick up Kelli E to hopefully bag lots of 14er’s...by arriving at Kite Lake (12,000’) @ 6:00am along with the mind set of “peak baging” Mt. Democrat, Mt. Cameron, Mt. Lincoln, and Mt. Bross. Yes, it sounds like a lot of hiking but why not, right?

The day was awesome! Early morning hiking (early morning, shoot crack of dawn is more like it), good company, laughing at each other about tripping over rocks while suffering from hypoxia, and doing once again what most people in other states cant! Did I mention how much I love Colorado?

I could never comprehend how cool it was to look down on all the valleys and see eye-to-eye with the other 14er’s in the area, until standing on one of those monster. It was a moment every outdoor loving person with applicable fitness should at least enjoy once in there lifetime. Well for me, I’m hooked! After yesterday I graduated into double digits of 14er’s hiked, yes that now 10 bagged with 43 more to go in Colorado alone.

Kelli "Big E" Emmett atop Mt. Bross

Semi-Retired

2005-08-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

Overall PRO MEN SUPER D standings after round 4
Men
1 Mike West (USA) Maverick
2 Amon Pease (USA) Intense
3 Chris Eatough (USA) Trek/Vw
4 Bryan Fawley (USA) Wheelsinmotion/Kenda
5 Michael Valach (USA)
6 Tom Wehe (USA) Kenda/Norco
7 Ariel Lindsley (USA) Maverick
8 Jiro Nakamura (Jpn) Wtb
9 Troy Heflin (USA) Recycle/Marzocch
10 Billy Holmes (USA) Ford/Specialized

Ah back in Utah once again…

2005-08-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

You have to get a kick out of this local Porter!

2005-08-02T18:21:00.000-07:00

Note: this picture was stolen from Tony! Tony works Manitou and is a pretty cool mo-fo check out his blog at www.fixedandsingle.blogspot.com also it now linked to my site (see right hand link section!).

Now I’m off for yet another 5 weeks of travel, wrenching, and even some ride/racing!

Question:
Is pimping easy?
Answer: Yes!
Surprisingly enough that is correct.

2005-07-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

Now thats what I'm talking about

Pro Bono Mechanic Work?

2005-07-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of helping April Lawyer (my old Teammate from last year) onto the podium twice this weekend! What a privilege to help such a caring person! Congrats Apes for all of your hard work!!!

“It’s been a while since my last update”???

2005-07-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

My first line every time I start typing is… “It’s been a while since my last update” my conception of time is so skewed that I can’t remember the date, only where we are traveling to next. Well the last how ever many weeks are now in the book, last I remembered I was reroute to Angle Fire, NM on the 4th of JULY, now it’s some 20+ later and I’ve meet an abundance of new people, enjoyed the company of my old friends from all over the world, and even managed to make home alive thanks to the Bonner County Hospital in Sandpoint, ID. Yes Hospital and Billy Holmes usually don’t come up in the same sentence but I’m really grateful of the I.V. bag or all 4 that they pumped into me due to food poisoning and SEVER DEHYDRATON. NOW I’m home for 8 days and have no clue what to do with my time??? I got up a 6:00am this morning after agreeing with my internal clock to sleep in today, but that guy wasn’t listing too me!!! Damn it! What should I do today?

I love this picture! We had to stop at White Castle (WC) while in the Mid-West on the last stretch of our journey. So naturally I had to document the “late night” WC adventure. Now I’m not saying that the marketing marvels at WC had the demographics planned when making location choices but the 2 that we visited where located in what I like to call the CRACK district of town. I guess that’s how you can market ¼ of a hamburger for 50 cent, but if think about value…well that’s 2.00 for a whole hamburger and then all off a sudden they are way over priced for the other fast food chains. But apparently if your “cracked’ out at 2:00am (or in our case blitzed on red bull driving 40 hours straight) you’ll fall for the marketing ploy and all of a sudden your saying “got damn this is the best mini-burger I’ve ever tasted”!

With less than a month to go, the SSWC is well on its way!

Nothing new really to announce, just some details to clarify. So far the schedule looks like this:

Saturday
- Registration @ shop 10-5pm
- Late Registration @ Big Easy 5:30 -10pm

Sunday
- Rider‚s meeting @ 10am Tussey Ski area Parking lot
- Rolling start @ 10:30am
- First finishers @ 1pm
- Go-Cart qualifying @3pm
- Go-Cart finals @ 4pm
- Post Race Gathering @ Big Easy 7pm
- Awards @ Big Easy 8:30pm

Ok a sudden motivation to go running has come over my body…time to got torture myself. Take Care!

Traveling the USA…

2005-07-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Off Choppers!

How many truck stops have I been too in the past month? Hell, I can’t remember but this picture was by far the coolest one so far. Period. The stop hade everything Swords, Mini-bikes, mini-Choppers (as seen here) you name it they had it!

I’m now nestled in Sand Point, ID for another NORBA stop. Ahhh, a few days of rest, rides, and a little work. Wed night was off the chain, once again blessed with the presence of John Dawson, Damion Smith (Yeti Mechanic) and Paul Rowney it was sure to be a good night…details? Umm naaa, just a report of having a blast with the boys here in I-Da-Hoe.

I have a semi accurate total of miles to date: 18,478
Beds I’ve slept in: 34

Off to dinner that Chris Sheppard (Haro Team Manager/Fast as Hell Racer) is making for us. Take Care!

“now that’s anything”

2005-07-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

Bush Diving???

I got to go home for 3 nights and brought a maniac along with me…life on the road is just too damn funny! I’ve been all over North America in the past two weeks, something like 100 hours of driving in 10 days! One thing that I’ve learned is Holiday Inn Express has free Wi-Fi and Cinnamon Rolls, how can one beat that? Plus all the rooms look the same so it’s like a bedroom you never left, “now that’s anything” (that was a Paul Rowney-ism)!

Oh here is a picture of one of my new passions “bush diving”, yes it’s dangerous, and has the potential to yield major dismemberment, well probably just an itchy rash or small abrasion but damn it I’m a risk taker at heart.

Thanks to all my friends that came out for my few nights in the COS! It’s good to have quality friends that you look forward to coming home to see; sure I’m chattering in code! Blah blah blah.

Things that I’ve seen in the past 2 weeks:

A random trucker chasing his “Big Rig” down the HWY. Note: always check the parking brake on the Haro rig so we don’t have to deal with that mess!

Rusty passing everyone in his go-kart backwards, yes, backwards. Well he did manage to spin out of control passing 3 of us on the outside of a 180 deg turn and stuffed the kart into a ditch!

A tank driving down the interstate w/a cannon attached to it?!?! Weird!

Quebec City, Canada “A”?

2005-06-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

Travels back from the World Cup Mount-Sainte-Anne. I’m slowly moving back to the states following the Yeti racing truck filled with just about every detour possible, damn Paul Rowney made us stop for 2 hours at the go-kart track yesterday! Bummer.

I’ve been totally neglecting this site due to all the travel and shoty Internet connections, so I’m sorry and I’ll be slowly responding to my emails, please be patient.

On a recap in the past two weeks on the road, shoot I can even begin where to start! Silly parties, lots of work, epic bike rides, seeing all my friends from all over the world, Go-karts every night (fast here in Canada), chilling fishing with team Haro (Mick Hanna and co-worker Rusty), and squeezing in about 100 hours of driving has consumed the majority of my free time! I have some killer pictures so be patient once again and I’ll post them this weekend.

Also get ready for another pro rider interview… Kelli Emmett. That should be up by next week, along with miles traveled, and the “Foye Troute” beds I’ve slept in the year counter.

The world’s fastest update…

2005-06-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have almost no time to update this silly BLOG right now, but I assume some people would like to know what’s going on with my travels and me. So I had my first few days with Haro, wow what a sweet team to work for!

Today after a 15 hour work day the results where clear!

Cody 1st place Pro Slolom
Shamas 5th TT
Shep 8th TT

Yes I’ve got to go sleep, sleep, and well sleep for 6 hours. I can’t wait for the 50-hour drive to Mont-Saint-Anne Sunday night.

Oh also nice work to the 3-d boys 2 in the top 10 in the TT (nice work Cody Peaterson!!!).

Take Care
Billy

What does one do with 3 months of his/her life?

2005-06-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

Well I’m almost ready to leave town for the summer. I forgot how much of a pain in the ass traveling as a cyclist is, let alone a cyclist/mechanic. I’m bringing too much stuff but it’s all needed, I think, I mean for real; bikes, tools, work stand, clothing for riding and casual…damn this is turning into a lot of stuff! I’m off to SRAM in the morning to drop off a ton of crap to be transported to the race venue then flying out to Park City to get started working for Haro! Woo-hoo! Thanks John Dawson for hooking a brother up and taking all my stuff to the race, IOU big time!

Jason Sager thanks for keeping us updated with the D-Town gossip it’s now a daily favorite site to read, wonder how all this blog stuff is going to pan-out once the season really starts? I hope I can keep everyone informed of results and my good times while traveling the country? My fingers are crossed.

Check out this sick ass moto JUMP!!!

Humbled XC Convert!

2005-06-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

Angle Fire World Cup DH Course

Damn, that was a hard race! I made it, no broken bones, contusions, concussions, etc.,. Practice damn near killed me, my little ass forearms kept giving out from the death grip I was putting on that 40lb DH rig. I mean come on were hitting 45+mph on the straights and pinning it into the woods, holy poo-poo, it was fast! Thanks to my boy Blackie for getting me all hooked up with CSR (Colorado Springs Racing), yes, I’m hooked on the gravity racing!

My friend Josh Powers (another SKINNY little XC racer) is in town Chillin at my house for the week. Josh and I get like little kids when we see each other (well more so then normal), so last night we decide to light off fireworks in Downtown Colorado Springs! Bad Idea, Really BAD IDEA! We finished when we where chased by pissed off neighbors and then questioned by the local authorities. Fun? Sure it was Josh and I talked our way out of the confrontation with “the Man” claiming AZ and MI stupidity. Good Times!

We’ve also narrowed down the calculation for how wide an ass can be before it’s too large… The calculation is simple, take ones torso length (shoulders to mid back) and then measure the ass in question? Thus resulting if final measurement (ass width) is grater then ones torso measurement, well you gots one large ass!

Inspired by change…

2005-05-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

Chillin at home w/nothin better to do then bunny hop trash cans...

I’m getting everything ready for a mini road trip down to Angle Fire, NM. I’ve converted from a Pro XC racer to DH/mechanic and have managed to bust 2 ribs and tear some stuff in my shoulder (yes that’s the technical jargon for: fucking myself up!) in a short period of time, but the packing for DH is so different compared to XC! When I was doing the XC gig I would train and managed time to pack, now dirt jumping and silly little intervals take up much less time, I have an abundance of free time to ponder…Hummm, maybe I could do an XC ride then hit dirt jumps and still make it downtown to meet up with friends for a burrito? Easy street right? Almost!

Please keep in mind that over the years of XC racing I’ve managed one useless trade that only XC racers can manage to pull off! It’s TIME MISMANAGEMENT. So I’ve got a list of stuff that needs to be done before I embark on one of my first DH race endeavors (I hope I get everthing done):

Pick up Keg of cheap beer
Build up new 4X bike
Pack all riding gear (I assume I need to pack more then just SPANDEX, right?)
Pack Tools and Stand
Pick up spare parts (that’s right I have 2 days of practice to destroy parts and hurt myself before race day)
Buy a serious first aid kit w/suture kit (plus lots of ADVIL)
Bring 40lb DH Bike and 30lb 4X Bile

No wonder all the DHer’s have big Pick Up Trucks…damn that’s a lot of Shit to carry around!

P.S. If my employers at Haro are reading this I promise to be CAREFULL, yes it’s a long season and you don’t need a mechanic in a body cast :-)

Thank you to my Billy Holmes Fan Club local Colorado Springs 80907 for the picture! That was a fun night! Maybe one more fun filled night before I leave for the summer?

YES! www.wanderingwrench.com is now mine!

2005-05-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

link my new site URL biatch...

A first ever Wandering Wrench interview with my roommate and Pro XC Racer Doug Ryden!

2005-05-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

Judging by Doug’s pain face, He’s ALL Business!

Wandering Wrench: Which athlete do you most admire, respect?
Doug: Probably The Champ, big Al Dunlap. She’s just a badass, even if she is a girl.

WW: What’s it like being Teammates with Kathy Legg (I mean Katey Compton)?
DCR: That girl has more talent than a football player has ego. SHE A BAD FUTHERMUCKER. The only drawback is feeling like you’re descending really well, looking back and seeing a girl about to crawl up your asshole on her bike.

WW: Favorite Porn Site, Pictures or Videos?
Dougie: http://www.labatidora.net/ photos. Havent found one for video; havent really looked.

WW: What makes you angry or frustrated?
Def Con: Contradiction.

Wrench: Do you live at home? Or on your own?
Guy that I’m interviewing: I live at home, but not with my parents, nor alone. My roomate is some dick ex-racer with a goddamn blog.

Dick w/a BLOG: Have you ever shagged a MTB chick?
My Gay Roommate: You mean from the team, or a girl that rides mtn bikes? Yes for the mtbiker, no for the team.

WW: Are there any guys you race against that you wouldn't mind punching in the face-or do you just like everyone?
That guy again: Bitch slap, yes. Outright punch, no.

WW: Has there ever been a defining moment where you said to yourself "Man, I am a fast mutha focker!"?
4:20 said: Usually around 4:25 I seem to think that.

Wandering: When was your first MTB race, where, what did you ride, class, result, the feeling driving home?
Stony Bologna: Bananna belt loop, Salida CO. 1991. 2nd pl under 18 category (before they seperated juniors into categories) I was 15. Rolled in a SWEET mesh jersey, hardshell bell helmet, hiking boots, khaki hiking shorts, toe clips, canti’s, moto levers, fully rigid steel, baby. On the way home I was jealous that I couldn’t have any beer like all the other racers, but I gave mine to my dad, who drove me to the race.

Interviewer: What kind of car do you drive?
Intervieweeee: Bobby D. aka. ’98 Plymouth Neon.

WW: Favorite place to hangout (besides home)?
Bla bla bla: Single track.

Wrench: Have you ever passed out from being drunk?
Doug: Not this week, and not while riding, but I wont say about last week or the week before that, and I seem to be able to dismount while still concious.
Rebuttal: LIAR!

WW: Who would win in a real fight between Danny Pate and Todd Wells? Why? Speculation: The Pate. I don’t know t.w. real well, but I could just see d.p. goin’ ape shit. Plus he’s got all those jelly bellies. Those things are like crack.

WW: If you saw George W Bush in the woods while on a MTB ride, what would you do?
PC Guy: I reserve the right to not answer this as there is still a law on the books where any citizen can go to jail for even Speaking about harming the president.

Wandering Wrench: Who is Greg Frozley? And why is he so mysterious?
Dougie: You mean MISTER Alison Dunlap?!!!? He’s kinda like Ned Overend, Craig Kelly, and some really famous Norwegian who is a super good telemarker and skate skiier, all wraped up in one fabulous husband of a world champ and probable father of said world champ’s children. As for the mystery, it can be simply explained in the attached photo (beardedfrozley_fun)
BeardedFrol_fun.jpg

2005-05-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

Mid-West Swing

Jesse Rients is now a Mid-West farmer/Pro XC Racer with his new Massey Ferguson MX180 all wheel drive Tractor. By the looks of that picture he’s a “Tillin Tough Guy”, I wonder if he’ll be showing up in Park City in a Straw Hat?

2005-05-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

More Mischief

Susan (the hot girl on the left picture) sent me some more pictures of the XC Convert out on the town last weekend. Thanks Susan!

How can I even begin to describe my last few weeks until I leave for the summer to work with Haro?

2005-05-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

Everything has been eventful, not just the bars, but the riding, friends, etc.

Friday starts out on a WARM Colorado day at a local Pizza joint for lunch, Chillin, watching all the ladies in summer clothing and just enjoying the day with Blackie. When out of nowhere the voice of reason is heard! “Lets go golfing”. I think for like 2 seconds, and reply “goLfin”? He knows I’m down with a reply like that and before I know it “it’s on” we’re renting a golf cart, clubs, buying golf balls, and ready! MORE GOLF PICTURES HERE

I have tons more, but I need to ship out all the ebay stuff from last week! STAY TUNED!!!

What can I say...

2005-05-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been sick and It's only Sat afternoon! More to come sunday night or monday morn. -B Ho

Will cycling ever incorporate the GOOD GAME attitude?

2005-05-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

In all probability NOT, but it sure is a funny concept, damn that was a sweet ride today…GOOD GAME (followed by slapping your bros ass). Just think of the endless possibilities, we’ve tried this in Colorado Springs on the Pub Crawl presented by Jon Hurley and the reaction form innocent bystanders is priceless.

Post Road Ride: This usually happens at the coffee shop or local downtown (high exposure) location, roll up to your spandex clad riding partner, holla “good game” improvise on the rest, starbucks is my favorite place to give a good game!

Post Sweet DH single track: Probably the most “risky” of GOOD GAMES, especially in fall (i.e. Huntin season), most of our DH runs end in multi use public parking sections, a wonderful gathering spot for local hunters. Roll up to your bro in front of a 280lb deer hunter w/small varmint killin hand cannon, and slap a GOOD GAME on your riding partner…hella weird looks!

Skate/BMX Park: I need someone to report this action its uncharted territory as of now...

***Please note: If you or your "GOOD GAME" friend(s) are homophobic this type of shenanigans may be unacceptable, so please consult the other party to prepare for any unforeseen incidents.

Jason Sager thanks for linking my site to yours, also I’ll try and work on my spelling and grammar…

Check out Engrish

2005-05-13T17:31:00.000-07:00

2005-05-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

I got an email from Haro today and it looks like the “XC convert” is getting a new bike, not just a bike, but a dirt jumping, tail whipping sweet ass Nyquist Pro! Thanks again Jill.

This weekend was totally chill, thanks to Mike Blackmore for loaning me the sweetest bike ever for the weekend, I mean people couldn’t believe how dope (yes the word dope was just used) this ride was, carbon this, 2006 pre-production that, and a white frame, he’s so cocky with his bikes! Thanks Blackie!!!

I got some new MUSIC this week from AzureRay, Title: Hold on Love, it’s damn good for unwinding after a hard day of play, check out some free downloads at Saddle Creek Records or go to Azure Ray.

Danny Pate dropped off some SOUR Jelly Belly’s this weekend something about getting 30lbs of Jelly Beans from the team per month??? Damn they are tasty, but I’m not sure 30lbs are a feasible amount. Thanks Danny!

Looks like my Screw Driver and Duct Tape days are no longer in existence. I just bought a new Pedros Tool kit, Ultimate Stand, and went all out at Sears snatching up all sorts of Craftsman products, only 4 more weeks until I hit the open road with Rusty (the other team Mechanic) and a 31” trailer in search of NORBA National races! Should be a blast… Thanks to Reese at Pro Cycling in Colorado Springs for letting me wholesale the parts, I owe you big time, thanks again.

HARO’S HANNAH TAKES SECOND IN REDBULL LISBON DOWNTOWN

2005-05-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

My super cool new boss Jill Hamilton (Marketing Coordinator/BMX Team Manager, Haro Bicycles) sent this to me, so I thought I would pass it on!

Team Haro rider, Mick Hannah, has again taken second at the Lisbon Downtown event in Portugal, the world’s only international Urban Downhill invitational event.

After his introduction to the event last year, Hannah was keen to again test out the tight, twisting streets of Lisbon.

"It is just such a blast," said Hannah, "The crowd is right in your face and it is so fast in some of the sections. I love coming here and can't wait to bring Tracey (Hannah) over next year"

Hannah had to settle for the same result as last year, with second place to four-time winner Steve Peat.

"I only brought over the .357 Magnum 9" bike to Europe as I had to trim down the amount I took over, so it was perhaps a little overkill for this course (Hannah rode his Werx-7 last year), but I just love the bike so much that it wasn't a problem."

Final Results were:

1 Steve Peat 1.31.994
2 Mick Hannah 1.33.819
3 Greg Minaar 1.33.922

Hannah will now head to Australia for a week before making his way back to the US to complete the international season.

Mick Hannah and the entire Haro Team are generously supported by Manitou, Shimano, Thor, Sun-Ringle, Bell Helmets, Selle Italia, and Easton.

2005-05-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

My roommate Doug and I decided to organize our garage tonight; weird I think I need to sell a few bikes! 2 dudes and 20+ bikes?

Post Cinco De Mayo spins? Seis De Mayo SUX!

2005-05-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up at about noon just thought I should be in…hold on that’s a NWA song?!?! Strike that! I started the day with hitting Denver on a spur of the moment decision, my car less friend needed to do some biz up at the “mile high” city, so I gave him a ride, Damn that place is BIG, sure you get a view of the mountains but they are forever away. My only stipulation was that I needed to be home by 4:30 to sell my old motorcycle, and then be on the bike heading to Palmer Park by 5:10. After doing what I now call a “power sale” with the moto, you know very short precise answers, let the guy think I had no personality (“I have people skill damn-it”, sorry office space quote) but needed get that biatch loaded in his truck and the CSAH MONEY so I could go play!

On time at Palmer Park I started picking up people to ride with during the ride. Jason Weber the best frame painter a Spectrum , Shari, Steph “PR Chick” form MTBchick.com , some dude named Doug, and JJ Simon doing shuttle runs on his DH bike, damn he’s fast! How could the day get better after 2.5 hours of playing on MTB’s? Wait I still had to hook up with Blackie and that fool had text me twice while out riding. The first was “cuz it’s on” followed by “Ur gonna need a lampshade” WTF? That Caucasian doesn’t play around! We hit a local hang out “V Bar” in downtown COS with Drew, Phil, Blackie, Doug, Steph, and Kelly (the new girl in town) After a $300.00 bar tab, it was on, and over, now I’m in the pain cave awaiting my ride to the Moto track, Fridays at the track are so damn good! Maybe I’ll get to chill with Scuba the coolest dog in the springs?

Take Care,B Ho

Dirt Jumps and Skate Park!

2005-05-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

and my feet from the train trip

Back to my roots! I spent the majority of yesterday at the Goose Gossage Skateboard Park and Dirt Jumps, memories of my roots. I started racing BMX at the young age of 4, my dad would hold my rear wheel between his legs at the gate to prevent a little guy from falling over, that’s where this two-wheeled passion all started and never ended! Jeremiah Bishop once told me when you get burned out take some time and go for a long MTB ride on your favorite trail to get back to your roots, well Jeremiah it works if you play on a little 20” BMX bike also (at least for me). So now I’ve got some more dirt jumping to do and maybe a BMX race on Sat at the local track and another long MTB ride to get totally back to my roots!

Tonight is the Colorado Springs Pub Crawl presented by Jon Hurley, something about wearing “red” as a theme (we have a theme on the first Thur of EVERY month), I’m pretty innovative so I’ll just dress up in my red hoodie and call it a night, that is until blackie gets off of work then “it’s on”.

This weekend is the Fruita fat Tire Festival and Nathrop MX Race and Local BMX race… I think I can do everything, drive 5 hours to Fruita, ride, drive 5 hours back to Colorado Springs, rest (sleep), race BMX on Sat, then drive on Sunday to Nathrop for the MX race? Maybe I should trim the schedule a bit?

Foye thanks for the "drunkie" BBQ call. I miss you brother!

2005-05-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.fuh2.com

2005-04-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

Bling Bling?

This pic was submitted by Pimp Master D (pictured right) to tell you all that alone is actually the original gangsta. The concept of being the original gangsta traces its routes to the same concept of establishing dominance. One way of doing this is by advertising one's street cred or primacy in the wigger chain. By letting it be known that he was a gangster long before his friend, he then assumes the highest rank within the hierarchy of his particular crew (a claim further articulated by the assumption of the name "Pimp Master D"). The cell phone, pager, and rolled up pant leg (Pimp Masters don't get their legs caught in bicycle chains) tell us that he isn't lying, he's a dangerous man indeed.

And on that note check out Iced Out Gear and Wiggaz.com uhhhhhh?

Pro Hostel

2005-04-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

nomadic cyclist Jesse Rients

Tonight my friend Jesse Rients stopped by on his nomadic venture to Nebraska or someplace like that?!?! I’m not quite sure what Nebraska has to offer a climber but Jesse’s going. If you’re ever in Colorado Springs be sure to stop by Michelle’s on Tejon and buy homemade chocolate by the piece or the pound, we did and it was oh so worth it. Now he’s all sorts of pissed because it was in the 80’s when he left Tucson this morning and now we’re showing signs of snow tonight.

I had an interesting phone conversation with a rock star of a young lady tonight when the topic of dog poopy came up and I had the immaturity of laughing about it and continuing to keep on heckling her about it for several minutes, damn I wish I didn’t have such a 12 year old mentality!!! The cool thing is that she didn’t hang up on me, hummm?

My new tools will be arriving thanks to Reese at Pro Cycling in Colorado Springs, that cat is a life saver! Thanks Reese for hooking a brother up.

Finally an update!

2005-04-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

Kickin' it at Sea Otter.

Ok it’s been quite some time since I last updated this, so here’s the lighter side of the past two weeks on the road:

Foye was on the way to pick me for Sea Otter and got STRANDED in Falcon Colorado (the Blizzard of 05), rescued by El Paso County Search and Rescue, slept on a floor at the Falcon Fire station, and all about 10 miles from my house. Foye had the best response ever “now I can say I was stranded overnight by a blizzard”.

Sea Otter was a hit I got a new job…oh I forgot to tell everyone that I left the Ford/Specialized team and moved over to Haro, so all of you that where going to stop by the Ford Specialized team trailer and say Hi well they do have another mechanic named Billy, but this Billy is now at HARO.

While at Sea Otter I had the privilege of working on two ladies bikes that made the switch from the pavement to dirt, Megan Elliot and Lyne Bessette where some of the easiest athletes to work for ever! I changed tires and fixed forks in return for cookies and brownies! Thanks Ladies.

I ventured to San Francisco, CA after Sea Otter and that is one cool ass town, tons of people riding around on Fixed Gear bikes (aka fixies), bars dedicated to cyclists, every type of cuisine that one could imagine, along with some sweet ass shops!

I left Frisco on Wed morning via the California Zephyr Amtrak Train and arrived in Denver late Thursday night. It was a novel concept seeing that I don’t start work until June and it was only $82.00 to go the full distance. So I’m counting the longer/chair that I slept in as a bed for my counter, so here is my final tally for the 2005 season.

Foye Troute "beds I've slept in this year counter":
- 14 different beds.
- 7748 miles driven and traveled via train

Friday I seized the top end of my moto up at the track so I’ll have to repair that with my screw driver and duct tape…so who knows about KTM 2 stroke engines? Also the Colorado Cyclist is still looking for a few good people, so what if you have to relocate to work in Coloraod Springs, apply now!

I complied some pictures from my 2004 race season on the Intense Factory XC Team, check it out on the links section!

Take Care,
B Ho

Wednesday Night? Right? And we're doing what? Again? OK

2005-04-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

All I gota say is Blackie did it again! At NOON I get a text stating “it’s on tonight” and sure enough with a little coaching form the notorious BLACKIE I’m wandering downtown Colorado Springs drinking pictures of cheap draft beer and drunk enough to be friends with everyone that I meet in my path, pathetic, but funny nonetheless! Somehow we ended up at (and Josh P your going to love this one) the Navaho Hogon (sorry I may have spelled it wrong) for COLLEGE NIGHT!!! Oh yeah my alter ego and me left alone on the dance floor with nothing but college grils, ummm I had a good time, didn’t you Blackie?

Looks like it might be on again tonight, so I had better go ride off last night calories so I don’t start looking like a mechanic!?!?

2005-04-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

I got an ass whoopin on the new moto! I cant believe how much more muscle you need to ride a motorcycle for hours on end. I mean it’s not even close to the cardio that a mountain bike can give you, but damn that 230lb trail bike after 2 hours of riding starts to tear your body apart. Don’t get me wrong I’m a 130lb scrawny little MTBer and have no upper body. Yes I chickened out of the Hare Scramble and for good reasons, I’m just to weak to ride wide open for 2-3 hours as of now, yes ever so Humbled, but I’m planning on doing my first one on May 17!

Big E Suffering at Redalnds, OUCH!!!

I finally got home to ride with my favorite riding partner Kelli (Big E) Emmett today, she called me up for a 1.5-2 hour ride in the rain, 30+MPH head winds, and just plain old crappy ridding conditions. It never fails to turn into an epic with that girl, but nonetheless is was a hoot, good laughs, going down memory lane (back in 99) and other fun times!

Well just the tip of the Iceberg on this note and then more later: Those of you that where going to stop by and say “what’s ah happenin” at Sea Otter, well I’ve had a location change, yes same venue, but with a different company…Stop by LiteSpeed and see myself and the infamous Foye Troute, yes the same man as stated in the "Foye" Troute "beds I've slept in this year counter"! Should be some damn goodtimes and one hell of a trip! Foye and I havent traveled together in quite a while, so deffinantly stay tuned as I will have my camera ready for what ever comes our way! Entrigued?

2005-03-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

Since I last posted the Easter Bummy (what Allie Rue called it) story I've received so many emails with really cool comments and concerns. I had no idea so many people from all over the world where reading this BLOG, I hope we as a team can get on our feet for Sea Otter, we've over come so many obstacles in such a short period of time to have such a small group of people to set us back! I still don't have any tools, bikes, or parts in my possession and we only have 14 days until the first race at Sea Otter. Talk about working on a tight time line, ok, ok, ok I've got some other things on my mind other then crying over spilled milk!

New MOTO...

I got's me a motorcycle!!! That's Right a big bike, not a scooter, a KTM 250 EXC (2 Stroke), damn that thing is soooo damn fast, for reals, I'm busting wheelies in 4th gear and going fast, burrrrraaaaa! One of the funny things according to eye witnesses; is seeing a skinny 130 pound ex-cross country racer ripping around on a "big" bike. My ex-Independent Fabrication teammate Ken Helgeson has convinced me that I need to race a Hare Scramble this weekend, so I've only owned the bike for 4 days but I'm in for a 2 hour endurance motorcycle race north of Denver...keep your fingers crossed for me.

Looks like someone bought my scooter in FL, so now I have to learn about freight shipping a scooter. Hummm? Oh well it will be a fun learning experience.

Oh if anyone has a ton of bicycle shop experience and is looking to relocate to Colorado Springs send you resume to Mike Blackmore (a.k.a Blackie) c/o Colorado Cyclist and see about getting your self a jobby job at a sweet ass mail-order company! See Blackie I told ya I would post it, just better late then never, right?

Easter Sunday Thieves

2005-03-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

Bummer today we lost everything in our team trailer, that's right everything, YES EVERYTHING! Some thieves decided to clean up the storage facility that our trailer was parked at on Easter Sunday. I'm making an inventory list of everything in the trailer, man its hard to remember how many M5 bolts you have!?!? I'm not sure how Sea Otter will turn out, we have the doors ripped of off our little trailer right now, no bikes, no parts, everything is gone! All my tools and repair stands, they even took my HIKING BOOTS, yes, used stinky hiking boots! So I'll be learning how to reattach trailer doors and OVER ENGINEER the latches! I guess I'm bummer about everything so if you know someone thats a theif please kick a few hundred times for me. I think the next few days are going to be long days once again, so much for my mini vacation, i'll keep you informed as the caper unfolds. I hope to be in much better spirts once I can get to my mobil workshop and evaluate exactlay how much damage repair is needed and hope that our sponsors can choke up some bikes for Sea Otter, my fingers are crossed!

Think I can get by at Sea Otter with a screw driver and Duct-tape?

Tahnks for reading!
B Ho

2005-03-27T09:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Easter

I keep added more links from my friends. Jeremiah from DylanDeanDesigns.com busted out some sweet pictures of all the pro teams at the NORBA Nat #2 NOVA, lots of hard work for a gravity photographer, he was bummer about no chair lift, no wild parties held by downhillers, but managed to hike 20+ miles, battling rattle snakes to get these top shelf pictures! Nice work Jeremiah!

Ford Specialized Team
Amon Pease (Intense XC) someone to keep an eye on this year!

I just bought my 2004 Yamaha Zuma Scooter but I’ve already grown out of it, I need a Trail Bike badly “no doubt, no doubt at all” so this baby must go! Here is my ebay auction, please pass the link along to help a poor team mechanic get a KTM EXC 250…they aren’t cheap! Hutch finally got his “Pit Bike” a Honda 2005 CRF 50, It’s little but he’s dead set on racing Mini Bike Nationals in Las Vegas! Sunday night after Sea Otter tech is all packed up, maybe around 9:00pm we’re going out to celebrate his birthday, I mean BIG TIME! Stop by and find out the where abouts of the shenanigans Sunday afternoon.

I miss La Salsa…Good thing I fly into Tucson April 6 at dinner time, land, pick up baggage, and straight to LA SALSA!!! Only 10 more days until a tasty Cancun Shrimp Burro. Someone should open a La Salsa in Downtown Colorado Springs.

2005-03-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

Backcountry

So I'm finally settled into my home environment once again. My plans are simple; relax, do some epic MTB rides, and just enjoy life to it's fullest. But snow stopped my "epic" day, so plan B was set forward with out my knowledge. Blackie called me at NOON and said his day went to shit, he left work early, explained that he needed to blow off some steam and the local watering hole, skeptical, a light weight, and not really willing to piss a day away drinking I said yes. Damn straight it was so much fun! Bars, meeting new people, drinking, dinner at the point, more beers, heckling models, mixed drinks, and even bowling! Good Times, Thanks Blackie!!!

I'm working for a team with really light weight riders (-120lbs) so I've been doing some reasearch on the most important weight to consider in bicycle theory: Un-sprung weight or drive train (Rotational) weight. Here is an interseting artical and Katie Compton's (Womans CX Nat Champion) Dad's web site.

2005-03-25T17:22:00.000-08:00

What??? Josh and Myself on a Single Speed ride

2005-03-22T20:57:00.000-08:00

Build her a cake of somesing

Getting my drive on!

I left the 2nd NORBA Nat Monday to take Sara to the airport and head back down to Tucson where the team is temporally set-up, but for some strange reason I decided I needed to go home and just like that I packed up and started driving 850 miles to Colorado Springs at 2pm! I still have no clue why Monday at 2pm I needed to embark on a 12 hour drive, but nonetheless I'm now at home in my house (insert happy sigh) enjoying some sweet mountain air. Looks like this week is going to be a pretty hectic week; parts orders for Sea Otter, well, mostly some sweet Specialized UST Fast Track S-Works, and then off to Vail for a few days of late season snow...Hummm Tele-skis or Snowboard? Wow it's a tough decision!

I read a quote on Allie Rau's (Pro Woman's Super D winner 2004) email line that is so good I had to post it: "Why are we all in this hand basket and where are we going again?" now that's top shelf! I'm also thinking I need to invoke "post delay" yes it's like "pleasure delay" but my new term for BLOG sites...think about it I cant just keep feeding it everytime a reader wants it, right? I need to hold off a few days and get everyone good and ready.

Thanks to everyone that left beer at the trailer this weekend it's still being used (like as I write this)! Cody Peterson your more then welcome to give me a six pack of Ska Brewing any time you feel like it! Shep, now we're even; guess that's a good trade? Bar ends for a Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper?!?! Ford Specialized -1 Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper vs. Haro -1 set Bar Ends, hehehe, Thanks Shep!

And now for the fallen mechanic Marty "Foye" Troute "beds I've slept in this year counter":
- 9 beds to date.
- 0 strange women that I've woken up next too (yes mom that's ZERO).
- 4568 miles driven

OK I'm off to do some serious sleeping.
Thanks for reading!
B Ho

I almost forgot here are some pictures from
David Meyers Photo now posted on the Ford Cycling web site, enjoy.

2005-03-20T22:14:00.000-08:00

Racing Super D Pro Mechanic Style!!!

and that's a wrap!

That's it folks another weekend of mistakes, mayhem, and a long learning process for the "green" mechanic on the circuit. As for the results promised, well thanks to the inefficiency of tabulation for the general classification (come on how can you split a STXC and get an effective tabulation of results) I was tired and called it quits on chasing down results, so I'll give it a try at Sea Otter and see what happens. What makes me really think is that o.k. I'm getting the hang of this whole pro mechanic deal, but now I have 3 months until the next NORBA National, Weird? I mean most of the US is still sitting in a blanket of snow and I'm sure as hell missing some sweet ass tele-skiing in Colorado for this early season race stuff, wow it's really starting to sound like work! Hummm...

Thanks to Phil T for hooking me up with all of my new sweet ass SPY glasses this weekend, John at SRAM for all the tech support out of his mini-van and golf case of parts (you try to smuggle bike parts w/o paying freight charges), all the team mechanics for answering my questions, Hutch for letting me race super d on a work day and even helping me wash bikes in the dark!

Speaking of Super D, let me tell you some places need not hold a Super D event and Nova is now on my list of places that I be hatin for gravity events even though Jeremiah Dean of Dylan Dean Designs stopped by to shoot our team and some of the other XC racers out-ah-suffering in the desert, so check out his site and see what he's got cooking (maybe give it a few days, he's driving back to so-cal). Amon Pease my ex-Intense teammate made his mark in the past 2 NORBA Nats clawing his way into the top 20 rankings, very sweet Amon! Keep up the good work!!!

Here is the list of the woman's XC results (complements of one of our athleats Sara Bresnick-Zocchi):

1) S. Vanlandingham
2) A. Dunlap
3) S. Haywood
4) W. Koerber
5) M. McConnneloug
6) K. Hanusova
7) H. Irmiger
8) M. Thomas
9) L. Bessette
10) J. Smith
11) W. Simms
12) KELLI EMMETT (Ford Cycling)
13) K. Barnholt
14) G. Gould
15) J. Copnall
16) DARA MARKS-MARINO (Ford Cycling)

24) SARA BRESNICK-ZOCCHI (Ford Cycling)

2005-03-18T21:26:00.000-08:00

Work, Work, WORK...

Not much here at Nova other then a ton of work and not enough sleep. I love this job but it sure is hard, Jay hit a sweet 3rd in the Marathon so Podium number Two for the season is in the book...thanks Jungle Jay! 82 mile of blood sweat, and tears!
Ok here are the results from today's TT, now I've gota go to bed so I can finish up and race the Super D, then work on bikes into the dark of night.

Woman's, PRO

1) S. Haywood
2) W. Koerber
3) K. Hanusova
4) A. Dunlap
5) S. Vanlandingham
6) M. McConneloug
7) H. Irmiger
8) M. Thomas
9) K. Sherwin
10) W. Simms
11) Dara Marks-Marino (FORD CYCLING)
14) Kelli Emmett (FORD CYCLING)
17) Sara Bresnick-Zocchi (FORD CYCLING)

Men, PRO

1) G. Kabush
2) A. Craig
3) T. Lowe
4) JHK
5) L. Killeen
6) J. Bishop
7) C. Sheppard
8) S. Taberlay
9) J. Sager
10) T. Wells
22) Amon Pease
23) Jay Henery (FORD CYCLING)

2005-03-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Racing and more mud removal...

Sat was a blast in AZ, the 4th stop of the local AZ series and I'm all signed up for an ass whoppin. The day played of with sunny sky's, light wind, and 75 degs of warmth. It couldn't be a better day for some outa' shape mechanic to pedal his ass off and literally float on 2004 fitness and genetics. The AZ single speeders (about 20 of them) where soooo cool, 3 mile fire road start was at a moderate pace, I mean trash talking, no heavy breathing, and no idiots attacking with rpm's that would make a sewing machine envious. I ended up on the podium bubble, that's right 6th, but I went as fast and hard as I could, shoot even Hutch found a way during his warm up to hit the feed zone (his favorite spot) and hand a brother a bottle on a hot AZ day!

It has been nice watching the pro races so I finished and checked out my 2nd pro race of the season...the Japanese National Team was here, so I had tons of time with the Japanese National Mechanic "Bass Man" shooting the shit in the feed zone during the pro race. Jesse was going pretty damn good that day, 2nd place again to the Japanese (not even going to attempt names) National CX Champ! Nice work Jesse and judging by your jersey I would say maybe you where going pretty damn hard!

Sunday was a Mechanics day:
Detail bikes from the TX Race that was take everything off, yes everything! If it had a bolt holding it on I took it apart. That Damn mud was EVERYWHERE! So after 3 hours per bike they are almost race ready again, well race ready in my eyes, I'm sure they where race ready last week but "Type A" mechanic had to put fresh grease in everything, new chains, new cables, check brk lines for contamination, pull free hub body's off of wheels, and other "Type A" characteristics.

Things I noticed in AZ this week:

If your an over weight female with a tan it's ok to wear a shirt 3 sizes too small!

Camel Toes are still a fashion statment for some!

***Also, If I have a High Speed Internet connection at NOVA I'll be posting results as soon as the official results arrive...Stay tuned and tell your friends!***

2005-03-11T14:54:00.000-08:00

The kid in this pic is hating life, but if you look down the line its pretty much all shits and giggles to everyone but the kid that's next, maybe he's thinking "damn that was some funny shit about 5 kids ago, but now it's my turn...this sucks"! That's still cracking me up!

From: Jake "Snake" Rubelt

"first things first. You got to get a hold of all the girls skin suits and sew those arms down a bit tighter on those girls." "that flappy skin suit looks slow and ridiculous. hahahahah" "Time for the team mechanic to bust out the sewing kit" Harsh Snake, HARSH! Although maybe I can use my new safety wire kit?!?! Cocky cat 1 Rodies always worried about how they look!

Does anyone know about mini-motos? Hutch is on a full blown mission to buy a Honda CRF 50 for the stock class at Mini-Nats held in Vegas! I'm started thinking why in the hell would a grown man want to ride a little kids moto? Then I realized that in Colorado Springs (my home) we have some of the sweetest "pixie" or pit-bike races on 16" bikes and a Thursday night bar crawl completely dedicated to the bikes we first pedaled. So now the question is becoming more and more apparent that once you reach a certain age you regress back to your childhood, Now I'm no psyche major, but some of us just cant grow up (yes that means me) and for Hutch he's jonesing for a pit bike! So If you have any good leads on where to get a good deal on a Honda CRF50 drop me a line!

News Flash...Looks like David (Ford Cycling $$$ man) has retracted his "I'm gona kick yo ass" statement from Hutch in the up and coming STXC at NOVA, maybe that last post about us riding out a Fantasy Island made him think what he really got himself into? As snake would say "PAIN CAVE"! Now I'm pretty sure if I keep harassing my boss on my Blog I'll be looking for a new job so the disclaimer will read...ummm...just kidding David?

Ok now I have to go prepare for the Single Speed race out at Gardner Canyon, AZ tomorrow...Wait what do you do to prepare for a single speed race? Check the gears over? Maybe I'll just hit La Salsa and get a few beers with my burrito!

B Ho

2005-03-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

As promised here is the Ozona, TX Mullet

I need to learn how to carry my camera with me at all times; I'm fascinated with the mullet and cant get enough of it, I see them and have to stair. So tonight I'm at La Salsa eating some of the best Mexican food in the southwest and along comes a sweet mullet, but it wasn't the dude with a mullet that made me stare for any length of time, it was your basic crew cut with about 18" of flow in the rear...but it was the fathers son that had the EXACT same mullet as his dad that just caused a commotion in my head! It was truly amazing how impressionable our youth is and this kid truly looked up to his fathers masterpiece of a hair due, all I could think is think that apple didn't fall far from the tree and it truly was "like father, like son".

I headed out the Moto Track tonight to watch Hutch race his 100cc 4 stroke motocross bike against some 8-10 year olds, man that guy was relentless on the kids, block turns, brake checking, all the old school tricks! The cool thing was how happy he was after, guess that's his vent for getting his frustrations out.

Special thanks to Bill Deputy (a.k.a. Mr. Big) at mountainbikeRACER.com for listing Dara's Ford Diary and my BLOG! Check out Dara's Link here and mine here! We truly apriciate your support Bill.

Ok and now for my first contest, It's name my web domain:

The Rules:

1) The URL can not be in use.
2) It has to pertain to cycling and mechanics.
3) contest ends March 23rd
4) winner gets a pair of Ford Pro Team socks shipped.
5) ummm..that's it, now start thinking

Please email all entries HERE

Take Care,
B Ho

2005-03-09T14:16:00.000-08:00

Kelli Focused at STXC NORBA Nat #1

Nice work Amon Pease (my ex Intense teammate from 2004) 29th over all at the first NORBA Nat...see what happens when you don't stand on your feet all day long working on bikes. NICE WORK!

Hutch and I did a sweet ass 2 hour MTB ride at Fantasy Island, GOT DAMN that old dude (kidding) is fit and really starting to show some real Masters Expert form! Watch-out all you 44-49 experts that cat is going to win the National STXC!!! Too bad he has to race against the 30-39 Experts, but Hutch still says "Fuck-It" I'll put those young bitches in the pain cave, that means you too David (Ford Cycling $$$ Man) even though he told Hutch "I'll Kick your ass at Nova" (in the STXC) oh it's on with management at Ford Cycling. Stay tuned for updates on the fist-ah-cuffs at Nova Desert Classic.

2005-03-09T14:15:00.000-08:00

My 2004 Yamaha Zuma (note: custom racing strips)!

Day of Rest!

2005-03-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

Today is not really a day I'm going to consider productive form a mechanical stand point! I'm hitting some emails, drinking some Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, and laying low at Hutch's house (Tucson, AZ). I guess one thing I've learned form cycling over the past few years is persistence and structure, now that I'm not riding all the time rest days seem obsolete but with anything you need to learn a balance and how to just walk away form your profession for a rest day. Weird, burn out can happen in everything not just cycling, it's in relationships, work, and everyday repetitive life. Adaptation to routine kills me, so here I am tiring my hardest to rest and not work today, but still thinking about what needs to be done for a flawless Nova race is killing me...can anyone say OCD? Perhaps I really do like my job as much as I love cycling and It's hard to take a day off from something you have such a passion for!

On a lighter note: I'm really getting into scooters. I just bought a Yamaha Zuma and am in the process of modifying it, yes that's right I'm modifying a 49.5cc scooter. I've been checking out some sweet pipes and other upgrades at:

http://www.provoscooter.com/shop/product_info.php?cPath=33&products_id=84

And believe it-or-not chicks seem to dig dudes on a scooter, well at least the 18-20 year olds do...Hummm, ok BAD BILLY, BAD!

I've also been checking out other blogs/websites that are interesting. Here is a list of sites I've been checking out:

Jason Sager's BLOG
Don't Mess With TEXAS!

Todd Wells BLOG
Cocky Olympian that Rants about Burritos!

Well, I've gota go cruise the U of A on my scooter, I'm such a DORK!

2005-03-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

Late Night

2005-03-08T19:13:00.000-08:00

Late Night in the Team Trailer

Mud, Mud, MUD!!!

2005-03-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

Ding, Ding, Ding Round 1 of the NORBA National MTB series is now officially in the books and as a mechanic it was an uneventful race, wait that's not to say I didn't bust my ass working 10-14 hour days, but all 4 of my athletes bikes held together and for the most part they worked flawless with the exception of what my friend Jesse Rients said "its like riding in POOP SOUP" and that poop soup hindered a few things, but we prevailed w/o a mechanical! Jay Henery is now my new idol for racing the "Iron Chamois" event, that cat not only raced the 3 day MTB stage race, but added a 62 mile MTB Marathon race a few hours before the start of the National Stage Race...Now I understand why I always finished 10-15 minutes behind him in XC, He's and ANIMAL; guess that's how you get a nick name like "Jungle Jay". Nice work!

A good friend of mine Foye Troute (former Shimano USA Multi Service) once sent me updates from the road, like how many different beds he stayed in, so in the way gangsters pour a little 40 oz on the ground for fallen BRO's I'm going to keep a running log of different beds I've stayed in for good ol' Foye who is now sitting at a desk working for American Cycling Group! Here it is Foye! 7 different beds as of the New Year, but I haven't woken up with any strange women yet asking myself "What in the hell did I do last night?".

As far as meeting really cool people in the industry, well I cant believe how helpful the other seasoned mechanics are. Nothing but love, thanks Fisher, Trek, Rocky, Kona, Specialized, Shimano, and all of the cool cats at SRAM! Plus Chris Davidson your a rock-star in my book for adding cool stuff about me and the team on your cyclingnews.com blog...

http://www.cyclingnews.com/riders/2005/diaries/chris/?id=chris0503

As for me...well I cant get the racing bug out of my system, so I'll be going out for round 2 of my ass whoopin' at the next AZ state race in the one-speed class, look out "big air DJ" (DJ is the new Innovations rep and one hell of a good single speeder). So I'll be sure to update you on the can of ass whoopin' I open on myself! I'll also have some pictures posted this week form the travels to and from the National including a sweet MULLET that I found in Ozona, TX. WOW!

http://www.fordcycling.com/photos/2005/tapatio/index.htm

Take Care,
B Ho

2005-02-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

Bling at Hilly's Pad (Tucson, AZ)

2005-02-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

Let the goodtimes begin!

Where in the hell am I again? Oh that's right Tucson for the 6th winter in a row! I always find a reason to come down to this winter playground (well summerish), this year it something bike related but on the other end of the spectrum from riding...I'm a team mechanic; I was under the assumption I would be able to ride my bike and live like a rock star, ha ha ha, not even remotely true! It's more like 10-16 hour days, no social life, and a pain in the ass dealing with athletes (ok I'm venting a little). I've raced as a professional cyclist for the past few years and have seen the countless hours some team mechanics have to put in so I felt ready for the task, but I'm starting to think the intervals where a bit easier, well, with cycling at least your done in a few hours then chillin' on the couch watching a good movie (i.e. RESTING). But really I'm ready to start this job and give it 100%, I have 4 athletes that are counting on me and I just cant let them down, right? Ok so your wondering well what team is it Billy? Here is the link http://www.fordcycling.com/riders.html funny the guy running the team was worried about me doing a blog on the "team" site due to logistical reasons with Ford, so fuck it I'm on this site ranting at my own pace and dropping the "F" bomb when ever I fell necessary, oh wait... I feel one coming on right now, na fuck it I don't feel like cursing like a fucking sailor! I'm off to the first NORBA National on Monday to really find out what this job has to offer, looks like rain, so I spent most of the day today getting extra mud gear ready for a 3 day stage race (slug fest) in the mud! Speaking of mud I decided to race a MTB race two weekends ago, no training...wait I've only ridden a hand full of times since October, so fuck-it I'm signed up to race in Phoenix on the rainiest day in AZ history, and me like a true idiot I bring a knife to a gun fight; yes that's right I pull up to the Pro men's race REALLY out of shape and on a RIDGED SINGLE SPEED! Now, I know this is a really dumb idea when Cody Peterson asked me if I've ever ridden the course, guess it's a little bumpy?!?! Well, 18 miles into a 24 mile mud, sweat, and lots of tears. I had something happen that has never happened before, my fore-arms cramped so bad I couldn't hold onto the bars and ended up flounder around in the mud until deciding to WALK back to the car...man that was soo hard. This single-speed stuff is really addicting, so I'm sure I'll be back, but with a Reba! Look out for updates for the first NORBA! BH